Donald Barthelme

If you're the kind of person that always wants to get McSweeney's Quarterly but can't quite stomach the price, this is the month to take the plunge. Why now? Because this issue has an excellent section devoted to none other than Donald Barthelme!


Donald Barthelme, for those that aren't aware, was considered one of the greatest writers of the second half of the 20th century. He's primarily known for the anthologies 60 Stories and 40 Stories, both of which have some of the funniest and most bizarre stories I've ever read. Reading Barthelme, who before his death was frequently found in the New Yorker and other major magazines, is a reminder of a time when the word "experimental literature" didn't make every non-graduate student want to flee the room. With a casual style that belied the weightiness of his subject matter and themes, Barthelme was able to draw in the sort of readers that would be just fine avoiding for the rest of their lives any fiction that could be referred to as "challenging."

Additionally, there's a great page dedicated to him, complete with stories and essays that is well worth checking out. In order to get you started, here are a few of the best stories from the site that you should print out and read tonight on the subway home (or, sans subway, perhaps by a roaring fire in your den?):

Rebecca: Possibly my favorite Barthelme story. I find it hard to describe appropriately, other than to say that (a) it is about a slightly green woman with the last name "Lizard" and (b) that the story has one of the most hilarious and unusual narrators you'll ever find. Also, it has one of my all time favorite closing lines:

The story ends. It was written for several reasons. Nine of them are secrets. The tenth is that one should never cease considering human love, which remains as grisly and golden as ever, no matter what it tattooed upon the warm tympanic page.

The School: A perennial Barthelme favorite. Very funny, then horrifying, then sort of funny again, then decidedly horrifying.

Me and Miss Mandible: A 35 year-old man find himself enrolled in an elementary school. Needless to say, office politics and sex ensue.

Some of Us Had Been Threatening Our Friend Colby: After a friend "goes to far," what do you do? What any sane group of friends would: hang him.

So, there's a start. Although I've found Donald Barthelme to be an incredibly polarizing author, I hope that you find something to enjoy in these funny, strange, and (in their way) "experimental" stories.

The John Hodgman Reading Experience

After reading this McSweeneys piece yesterday (I know, enough with that site!) I was reminded of the time I saw John Hodgman speak, a.k.a. my all-time favorite book reading.

In general, I'm not a huge fan of readings. I don't especially care about meeting an author or finding out what they're like, and I don't harbor any pretensions that I'm going to get some clues about how their mind works. Plus, most of the time these authors aren't exactly the most socially-gifted people in the world, and seeing them in person can actually turn you off from the experience of reading them. I still haven't been able to read Marisha Pessl's "Special Topics in Calamity Physics" after her dry, uninspired reading at a bar in the East Village.

Although there are definitely exceptions, they usually seem qualified in some way. I've really enjoyed the two times I've seen Jennifer Egan speak, but I can't shake the feeling that it may have more to do with the searing crush I developed on her than any particular reading talent on her part (though, of course, she's an amazing writer regardless ) .


I liked hearing Chris Abani speak as well, but what I remember from that reading was not so much the story as it was the bizarre explanation that he wrote what may be the "great transvestite novel" weekday mornings in a Starbucks in Southern California. I also liked Sean Wilsey, but, while he was indeed funny and engaging, what was most memorable was his (very loud) use of the word "motherfucker" during a crowded reading in a Park Slope Barnes & Noble.

Back to John Hodgman.


The one thing he has that so few authors do is a true performative element to his reading. When I saw him tour for the paperback version of "The Areas of My Expertise," the reading featured guitar-playing (along with a theme-appropriate song), a tape deck, consistently funny stories that weren't just rehashed version from the book, and a free gift of "hobo chalk" for the members of the audience!

The highlight of the night came near the end, when he said that he would take some questions from the audience. Due to the "extreme discomfort" caused by this "level of intimacy," Hodgman distributed walkie-talkies to the audience so that they could ask their questions through it and provide a buffer. Of course, they ended up being cheap, ineffective walkie-talkies and while audience members tried to get them to work, everyone else was screaming with laughter at the absurd premise combined with Hodgman's laconic responses: "Are you holding the button down?" "Try holding it up to your mouth." And so on.

Anyway, by taking the time to make his reading something more than it needed to be, Hodgman created an amazing environment and probably sold a lot more copies, too. A year later, I still talk about that reading all the time and definitely still recommend that book to my friends.

So, that's my favorite reading. Anyone else have an especially memorable reading that stuck with them?

The Best of McSweeney's

On and off the last few years I've been a steady reader of the McSweeney's daily website, the offshoot of the literary magazine started by Dave Eggers and friends. Although I don't keep up with it to the extent I used to (too many misses these days, it seems, though maybe I'm just getting left behind?), I have accumulated so many favorites over the years that I decided to put together a top ten list.

So, what follows is my completely biased and sentimental look at The Best of McSweeney's Internet Tendency:

10. Thirteen Writing Prompts
http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2006/5/4wiencek.html
A much loved piece, eventually inspired a contest in which people tried their hands at some of the, uh, challenging prompts within this article.

9. An Aging Kelis Reflects...
http://www.mcsweeneys.net/links/monologues/kelis.html
My favorite "Short, Imagined Monologue." This one is a little dated now, I admit, but who didn't love (or love to hate?) the "Milkshake Song."

8. Marvin Gaye Explains What he Heard Through the Grapevine
http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2005/3/28moe.html
Part of a series that John Moe does where he "deconstructs" the lyrics to famous songs. This one is both silly and, somehow, kind of terrifying.

7. Winnie the Pooh is My Coworker
http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2004/8/11moe.html
I think the title really says it all with this one.

6. The Complete Idiot's Guide to Meeting People More Famous than You
http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2003/08/25guide.html
Michael Ian Black gives extremely helpful advice on how to approach famous people. One important tip: give money.

5. People Whose Names are Anagrams of My Own-Shane Patrick Ryan- Hold a Town Meeting
http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2007/8/10ryan.html
An inspired piece, which I find all the more impressive because of my personal difficulty with anagrams. This must have taken weeks to write.

4. Dan Kennedy Solves Your Problem With Paper #7
http://www.mcsweeneys.net/links/paper/paper7.html
The best of Kennedy's "Paper Advice" columns-Nobody does the voice of the "depressed, solipsistic, aging male" archetype better these days.

3. History's Great Persons Reconsidered
http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2001/01/09carvell.html#fitzgerald
It is a real shame that Tim Carvell doesn't do these anymore. Back in the early days of McSweeneys, you could always count on this column and John Hodgman's "Ask a Former Professional Literary Agent" for a laugh. This column finally asks the question historians have been too scared to: "What If Elvis Presley had lobster-like claws for hands?"

2. Current Releases
http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2006/6/28kimball.html
I really don't know how to describe this article or explain why I find it so deeply funny. Does anyone even remember the Vaughn/Travolta movie "Domestic Disturbance" anymore? Regardless, I was laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes the first time I read this.

1. Truly Groundbreaking Advertising Ideas
http://www.mcsweeney.net/200/12/22kennedy.html
This piece, also written by Dan Kennedy, does absolutely everything you could hope for in a short comedy piece: It starts off funny, remains funny, and never lets up.

So, that's my list. Although there has got to be at least 15-20 more that could be included, these are the ones that I'll still go back to reread years later.

Are there any that I'm forgetting? Does anyone else have a favorite McSweeney's piece that merits inclusion?