We’re Threatening Karmic Alignment

You’ve been warned, you’ve been teased, you’ve likely been confused. Now it’s time to be titillated. After days of painstaking earth-quaking decision-making, Better Chatter has arrived. Caress it. Get to know it. Let it become a part of you.

Mr. Josh and I have a deep responsibility to keep America abreast of whatever it is you, Americans, should know. We are two bright stars ready to guide lost souls to a more satisfying existence. We are pouring our hearts into every sentence, word, and phoneme you see on this site. In return, we ask you to pour endless “I should be working” time into reading our weblog.

Only the future knows exactly what nuggets of knowledge we will drop on your brains. But since lists are all the rage today, here some specific subjects to keep an eye out for:

• Current Events: Anything that’s newsworthy or should be newsworthy.

• Fun Times: Sports/games/leisure-related entries.

• Point-Counterpoint: Josh and I wage war on civilized discourse.

• Q & A: E-mail us often. We will respond to our favorites. This is your chance to give us what for.

• Misc. Entries/Features: You’ll likely be seeing a lot of these.

I believe in karma. And of course you do too. Do your part by reading some words every day. When I die, I want to come back as a rainbow. What about you?

Me and you. Him and you. Us and you

After all the hype, the excitement, and the relentless "will they/won't they" discussion, the first post is up! The first of tens of thousands, perhaps hundreds of thousands, possibly millions of thousands. Won't it be fun to look back at this first entry years from now? It's entirely (mildly) possible!

I want everyone to know, however, that we mean business. And by "business," I of course mean...well, I don't yet know what I mean. I'll let Bryan, my co-blogger, handle that for me. Rest assured, there are wheels within wheels. Fingers in pies. Bodies in motion and at rest.

So, all I will humbly say for now is that my co-blogger and I will change the way that you look at blogs in general, the English language in particular, and human love in ways that are difficult for me to articulate and you to understand at this point. It's going to get heavy.

What I can tell you, however, are some of the things you won't find very much of on this blog:

• Life in New York: Everybody can get enough of this already. Almost every song, movie, and blog in existence already deals with this. Could we do it better than all of them? Sure, but why try?
• Long, discoursive rants re: New Yorker pieces and the like. As far as I know, no one has ever, in the history of the internet, actually read a blogger's long, discoursive rant about some magazine article that annoyed them. Some things are better left for the bar, so we'll try to avoid this.
• Pictures of cute animals doing incongrous, animal-inappropriate things. There are apparently a few thousand of these websites out there, so its probably easy to find this if that's what you're looking for (animals doing animal-appropriate things, however, are a-ok).

Beyond that, just make sure to get ready for a new and exciting (yet still highly educational) blog!