Saturday, August 4, 2007

The Iron Sheik Calls Ex-Tag Team Wrestling Partner Nikolai Volkov

Iron Sheik: Niiiiikolai!

Nikolai Volkov: Sheik! How long has been?

IS: Too long.

NV: You make me feel old. How you doing?

IS: Not so bad. I'm still in Dubai. We opened the Burj Al Arab a while back. It's beautiful, but this city has no people yet.

NV: Da. Russian mob has invested millions into land for big, big casinos.

IS: They have money. I have land. It's a good fit. How about you Nik? What has the Russian Bear been up to?

NV: Plowing beet fields outside Kursk. Is about all one can do around here.

IS: Making any money?

NV: Sure, but not Cold War money. I still put on costume and go to malls for a few rubles.

IS: Tell me about it. I tell people I'm a sheik, an actual sheik, and they just want me to put someone in a camel clutch.

NV: Da. I can give no more bear hugs. They lose meaning when you give hundred of them. If I put Rowdy Roddy Piper in bear hug, that mean something.

IS: There is just no place left for us. People like stereotypes, but they don't take us seriously.

NV: We used to strike fear in heart of public. In 80s I speak funny, wear hammer and sickle, give angry look and people get scared. Now they laugh. Is like stereotype is meaningless.

IS: Don't say that Nik. It's just that we are no longer the "it" enemies. I could become the Iron Terrorist, but I'm not going to pander. I was born a sheik and I will die a sheik.

NV: Russia is not what used to be. We are threat to no one.

IS: You are too hard on yourself. Russians still scare everyone. You will always be a stereotype.

NV: You too kind.

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