Iron Sheik: Niiiiikolai!
Nikolai Volkov: Sheik! How long has been?
IS: Too long.
NV: You make me feel old. How you doing?
IS: Not so bad. I'm still in Dubai. We opened the Burj Al Arab a while back. It's beautiful, but this city has no people yet.
NV: Da. Russian mob has invested millions into land for big, big casinos.
IS: They have money. I have land. It's a good fit. How about you Nik? What has the Russian Bear been up to?
NV: Plowing beet fields outside Kursk. Is about all one can do around here.
IS: Making any money?
NV: Sure, but not Cold War money. I still put on costume and go to malls for a few rubles.
IS: Tell me about it. I tell people I'm a sheik, an actual sheik, and they just want me to put someone in a camel clutch.
NV: Da. I can give no more bear hugs. They lose meaning when you give hundred of them. If I put Rowdy Roddy Piper in bear hug, that mean something.
IS: There is just no place left for us. People like stereotypes, but they don't take us seriously.
NV: We used to strike fear in heart of public. In 80s I speak funny, wear hammer and sickle, give angry look and people get scared. Now they laugh. Is like stereotype is meaningless.
IS: Don't say that Nik. It's just that we are no longer the "it" enemies. I could become the Iron Terrorist, but I'm not going to pander. I was born a sheik and I will die a sheik.
NV: Russia is not what used to be. We are threat to no one.
IS: You are too hard on yourself. Russians still scare everyone. You will always be a stereotype.
NV: You too kind.