Monday, August 20, 2007

Is It Retro?

If I had it my way, I would wear a t-shirt every day (see Black Tee Shirt blog for other praise). They're just so simple and comfortable. Everybody embraces them, especially the hipster masses, who have turned the t-shirt into a canvas for self-expression. But people young and old, black and white, tall and short make statements with theirchoice of attire.

The other morning on my way to work, I stood facing the subway window when I rolled up to the York Street stop. The only thing I saw as I looked out was an unbelievable shirt on a large gentleman with a cane. It was a black shirt. And written in silver glitter was the phrase "BITCH, don't make me go O.J. on you!" Besides the message's threatening nature, I was taken aback by how dated this reference is. Couldn't he have substituted O.J. with Scott Peterson? Even if his shirt was made ten years ago, I can't believe he had the balls/gall to wear it.

It makes me wonder what other scary and dated shirts could be out there. Below is a list of ones I'm certain to stumble upon in the coming months.

-Skank, I'll make you cry like Nancy Kerrigan.

-I'll make you disappear like the Lindbergh baby if you don't cook me dinner.

-Ted Kaczynski's got some mail for you, girl.

-Damn, you is all Patty Hearst and shit!

-Sure you're telling the truth, Ollie North.

-Who you been sleepin' with Heidi Fleiss?

-I saw those e-mails you sent, Congressman Mark Foley!

-Where's my money, bitch? You ain't Spiro Agnew!


Josh said...

"-Ted Kaczynski's got some mail for you, girl."

Beautiful-best anti-pickup line of all time.

Bryan said...

It might be better if it was "male" she was getting.

Josh said...

I like it-I see now that there is more than one way to look at your entendre. Its kind of a multiple entendre or, to coin a phrase, "double entendre."

Zack said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Zack said...

A couple of days ago, a friend of mine referred to Spiro Agnew as Aero Spignew.

As for the unibomber shirt, how about:

"Ted Kaczynski's got some male for you, male."

Bryan said...

Completely agree with the male-ness. Especially if he's saying this into a mirror.